April 2013 – Special Dogs with Big Hearts

On Being More Cora

When I first adopted Cora, it wasn’t because I thought she was sweet or cute. It was because her need was so great. For quite some time that was the basis of our relationship. As we grew to know each other that changed.I got to know her quirks and she got to know mine. She found out I like it when she leans against me and I found that she liked to have her ears rubbed. In the last week or two our relationship has changed again. Cora’s stump has gotten progressively worse since she injured it 10 days ago. It’s extremely painful to her. I keep wanting to help and fix and feeling frantic when I can’t. As much as I want to help, Cora is showing me how to cope. When I let her be, gets on with her life. She’s playing when she’s up to it. She’s exploring and getting into mischief. When she can’t, she sleeps.

Cora is doing more than just coping. She’s growing. In the last week or so, she’s finally mastered something that comes easy for dogs. She can eat her food out of her bowl without struggle. I know, it sounds like such a small thing. Here’s how it goes, first she has to find the bowl. She can’t see it but she can smell the food. She can hear it going in. In the past, Cora would get so excited her brain would shut down. She knew it was there and would just crash around making things harder, sometimes knocking over the bowl, because she couldn’t be calm enough to use her senses and search. Now she’s at the bowl and the smell is overpowering and she’s hungry and she doesn’t have much of any sense of feeling on her muzzle. So, not only can she not see the food that’s not there, she can’t feel it hitting her lips. So she would often accidentally push food away while trying to bite it and again, frustration would take over and she’d flail and push herself completely away from the bowl. But the last few days I’ve put the food in the bowl, she’s run up to it and quickly guzzled it down.

I look at the damage to her stump and feel sick, but then I see Cora’s strength and she gives me strength. I feel so awful about the current situation. That Cora is going to have a second amputation but I also feel blessed. I am sharing life with a being of amazing will power and desire to live. I am sharing my life with a being who can love and fight tenaciously. I am sharing my life with Cora the Determined.

Outside Adventures, Halter-free and Nap Time – repost

Last night we had a success and fail. Cora hasn’t been wearing a halter because it causes her pain when it touches her stump. I thought I’d try again, and last night I put it on her. Major success. She didn’t complain at all. This is a huge victory, because she has always complained about having her halter on. In fact, in the past she did more than complain, she actively resisted. Teaching her words like “halter on” and rewarding her a lot is helping. She went outside and things were going well until it was time to come in. She hasn’t yet mastered coming back to the house so I tried to lead her back in by holding the halter. This is our usual technique. However, she started crying immediately in obvious pain so the halter came off. I can guide her without the halter, but it’s slower and I can’t support her if she stumbles.

However, the pain meds are definitely helping Cora feel somewhat better. Cora spent a couple hours exploring the yard today. I felt guilty leaving her out so long, but when I tried to bring her in, by leash not halter, she put on the breaks. She is stubborn. With the halter I can “coax” her a long fairly easily, but I can’t pull her forward on the leash. Besides being a bad approach, it would jerk her forward onto her stump. It took much coaxing, prodding, nudging, pleading, muttering and determination but Cora is finally inside and trying to settle into a nap.

The original post with photo can be found on Cora’s blog: http://cora-determined.blogspot.com

Cora’s Bad Days – repost

I try to focus on the positive and with Cora’s progress, there is plenty to focus on. Today, however, has been one of those days when I wonder about Cora’s quality of life and whether I can do this. I hesitate to talk about times like this, but maybe that’s wrong. Most people do not celebrate when they see their dog wagging its tail or when their dog picks up a toy. What gives meaning to Cora’s accomplishments is who she is and the struggles she has.

A couple days ago Cora fell. This is not unusual. I think it will always be a part of her life. Being a tripawd is hard enough, but when you are also blind and have coordination problems, falling down is inevitable. Cora typically reacts by getting angry or by simply getting up and continuing on. When Cora fell a few days ago, I knew it was different. Even before she started screaming, I’d heard the sickening loud thunk. I was at Cora’s side almost immediately and she was crying, hunkered over and bleeding. She had landed hard on her stump and it was bloody and bruised. My tough, independent girl wanted me to hold and calm her.

She was unhappy the rest of the day and I mostly kept her sleeping. Yesterday was better, except that she kept breaking the scab open. I thought today would be good for her. I’d be at work and she’d get to rest, in the kennel, and give her stump time to heal. I got home from work a bit late and she really needed out to potty. Typical dog stuff.

After that Cora became an angry, snapping, out of control dog. I’ve been bitten by Cora before. I’m working with the behaviorist and none of her bites have been serious, but obviously it’s not ok. I couldn’t calm her down. I couldn’t redirect her with treats. I was afraid for myself and overwhelmed by the barking and activity. I was worried and sad for Cora who seemed so unhappy.

I sent Cora outside. She loves to be in the yard. Her barking quieted and she began to explore. I just brought her inside, an hour later; and she’s calm and manageable. There is no rulebook for this and the best I can do is not make any one moment, define who Cora is or how she will be.

The original post with photos and video can be found on Cora’s blog: http://cora-determined.blogspot.com/2013/04/coras-bad-days.html

Cora on Prosac

This is a copy/paste from Cora’s main blog. Pictures and links in the Cora the Determined blog.

Cora went to see a veterinary behaviorist. Dr Sung is pretty amazing. She’s got a lot of experience and education in animal behavior. I was early and I was surprised when she greeted me at the door (no receptionist) and said we could get started. I almost said that Cora would do better if I could give her a little time out of the car to adjust but then I decided it might be good for her to see Cora stressed. I feel bad for Cora. Between being rushed inside and the small office she hit her stressed point. In other words she was awful- barking, defensive, and falling down. Dr Sung said it was good to see Cora at her worst.

Dr Sung spent time watching Cora and asked me a lot of questions. She did a really good job of listening to what I had to say about Cora. We spent about two hours together and I do believe she really understood a lot of Cora’s issues. We talked about Cora’s cognition. There’s a disconnect, between what Cora senses and experiences and what she’s able to execute. So she will hear my call her, and now generally where I am but launch off in the wrong direction. It creates a lot of frustration for her and I think she has a hard time thinking past that frustration.

Dr Sung was the first medical person to really grasp how big the eating issue is for Cora. Cora smells the food, she knows it’s there. But she may actually have a lack of feeling in her nose and mouth area. If she does feel, it doesn’t process to her brain well. So, imagine trying to eat finger food when you are blind and can’t fully feel your fingers. This has made training Cora hard. If I try to use food treats to train her, I often just frustrate her. So, we are going to try soft foods for training. If the food isn’t rolling away, and Cora just has to lick it, it may be easier for her to get.

We also talked about Cora’s emotions. She’s a very emotive dog. Or as the expert said “her emotions are all over the place.” Clearly, Cora has all sorts of odd things happening with her neurology, so giving her some meds what will even her out and help with the frustration make sense. So, last night, Cora get her first dose of prosac. The risk is fairly low and it could have a big benefit. It will take weeks before we know. I am also supposed to talk to Cora more. Someone telling me to talk more. Whenever I touch her I am supposed to tell her what I’m doing and identify body parts. This will eventually make handling her easier. I’d been doing that, but now I have a much clearer idea how to do it. Cora has been quiet and mellow today. I don’t know if that’s because yesterday’s visit wore her out, because of the prosac, the horrible weather or because her human is having a blah day. We’ve been given some more tools to make her life better and that’s a good thing.

Cora Inspires Me

When I brought Cora home in the middle of January she could barely walk. When she did walk she only went in small, stumbling circles. She fell down constantly. She didn’t play, wag her tail or even hold her tail up. She had troubles finding the food in her bowl or even taking food off my hand. It wasn’t just that she couldn’t see, it was that she had problems with the basic coordination of eating. She spent a lot of time frustrated or afraid. She had temper-tantrums and it wasn’t always clear what set her off. She hated to be held and didn’t seem interested in having a relationship with me.So many thing seemed to overwhelm her.

It has been amazing sharing this journey with her. Never has a tail wag meant so much to me, as it did the first time she wagged at the sound of my voice. Most of the dogs I’ve shared my life with me, would push against me wanting to be patted and cuddled. Cora mostly doesn’t but when she walks up and leans against me it’s a moment I cherish. I was excited the first time she panted, just a few weeks ago, because it was another skill gained. Her finding a bone on the floor and settling down to chew on it, is a victory I cheer.

Today is the second day I’ve come home from work and taken Cora for a walk. Such a normal dog activity and so amazingly wonderful. Not only did we walk, at times, Cora ran. Our walks are short in distance. There are frequent stops. Some are typical puppy attention span stops. Other stops are because she’s stumbled or retreated into circling. But then we get moving again and that’s why we are on this journey. Cora has such a strong spirit, and I am both in awe and inspired.

Post with images/videos found on Cora’s Blog.

Where’s the Cora Updates?

I often say that Facebook is evil, but the truth is I’ve mostly been updating about Cora on Facebook. I always intend to write meaningful posts, but intentions are not realities.

And now, I have started a new blog for Cora. I will always be a part of the tripawds community though. What an amazing place, Cora and I have found. I will try to update here too.