I try to focus on the positive and with Cora’s progress, there is plenty to focus on. Today, however, has been one of those days when I wonder about Cora’s quality of life and whether I can do this. I hesitate to talk about times like this, but maybe that’s wrong. Most people do not celebrate when they see their dog wagging its tail or when their dog picks up a toy. What gives meaning to Cora’s accomplishments is who she is and the struggles she has.
A couple days ago Cora fell. This is not unusual. I think it will always be a part of her life. Being a tripawd is hard enough, but when you are also blind and have coordination problems, falling down is inevitable. Cora typically reacts by getting angry or by simply getting up and continuing on. When Cora fell a few days ago, I knew it was different. Even before she started screaming, I’d heard the sickening loud thunk. I was at Cora’s side almost immediately and she was crying, hunkered over and bleeding. She had landed hard on her stump and it was bloody and bruised. My tough, independent girl wanted me to hold and calm her.
She was unhappy the rest of the day and I mostly kept her sleeping. Yesterday was better, except that she kept breaking the scab open. I thought today would be good for her. I’d be at work and she’d get to rest, in the kennel, and give her stump time to heal. I got home from work a bit late and she really needed out to potty. Typical dog stuff.
After that Cora became an angry, snapping, out of control dog. I’ve been bitten by Cora before. I’m working with the behaviorist and none of her bites have been serious, but obviously it’s not ok. I couldn’t calm her down. I couldn’t redirect her with treats. I was afraid for myself and overwhelmed by the barking and activity. I was worried and sad for Cora who seemed so unhappy.
I sent Cora outside. She loves to be in the yard. Her barking quieted and she began to explore. I just brought her inside, an hour later; and she’s calm and manageable. There is no rulebook for this and the best I can do is not make any one moment, define who Cora is or how she will be.
The original post with photos and video can be found on Cora’s blog: http://cora-determined.blogspot.com/2013/04/coras-bad-days.html
Hang in there Chris, you are doing great… truly.
Thank you
This is the hardest job, Chris. You have a triple whammy going on. Cora doesn’t know anything else than life like this, and I think that makes me sad.
I am really happy for her that she has you, because an inattentive or less-than-caring person would give her very little quality of life. When the roughest stuff is happening to her, at least she has you to go to for comfort. I am grateful for your presence in her life. I wish it didn’t have to be so hard for either of you.
Shari
You give me strength Shari.
I am sure that cora is grateful to you for your love and attention. Hang in there and hopefully some day soon you’ll see a softer more loving side of her. Thanks for giving her a fighting chance
Maricela and Spirit bruno
That loving side is coming out more and more. This morning Cora very gently nudged me awake. It was lovely, even if it was only 6:30AM on my day off
Yes, you are indeed her saving grace and I hope by coming to this site when you are absolutely at wit’s end, this can somehow be your “saving grace”
You are doing probably what none else could. I know at a soul level Cora feels your love and feels your compassion, even if her outward reactions have a hard time conveying that. Whatever the outcome of the journey, this is a soul in the form of “dog” who has just been taught the meaning of selfless, unconditional love.
Maybe one of Cora’s roles is to teach you how to give that same kind of love back to yourself:-) 🙂 🙂 hmmmmmm……..
Cora “asked” me to get you to promise to something, Okay? Promise HER that you will do something special that YOU love in the next hour!! Clock is ticking……tic….tic….tic…..Let us know what you decided to do and now did it make you feel happy and content!!! 🙂
Lots of loving support to you, Sally and Happy Hannah
He he he… ok, I will make sure and do some fun stuff for myself too. Cora, Floyd and I have been outside enjoying sunshine!
Chris,
You are doing a great thing and like Shari said you & Cora have been hit with a triple whammy. Definately not fair. But with your help Cora is adjusting and learning new stuff. We all celebrate those things with you and worry when things arent going right. I wish there was more I could do to help than just support you with words. But we are here for you & you are apart of this family. Do not hesitate to use the chat to vent. That is what we are here for.
Michelle & Sassy
Michelle, you leave me speechless. Your support is so valuable.
Never hesitate to share these times. These are the times when you can lean on us for support. Hang in there.
Karen and Spirit Magnum
Thank you
Chris,
You are a rock for Cora. We are here for you and yes, this is the correct place for you to share your frustrations and the good things.
Give yourself a hug!
Ilene & Harley
Aww thanks
You are so right Chris, there is no rulebook and how incredibly brave of you to write your own. So many people aren’t made of the same stuff you are, few would be as courageous and hopeful.
You can write about the good and bad here, nobody will judge you. All of us are in awe of how far your CORAgeous girl has come.
Thank you